Stigma

I recall the passing of Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington. Two men that from the outside perspective had it all. The boxes were checked. Creative expression. Loving friends and family. A fair amount of money. Yet something plagued them more deeply. Depression. Mental Health Issues. I read somewhere that we as a society tend to glamorize or accept substance abuse issues, yet turn our back on and stigmatize mental health issues. These are two sides of the same coin. In some cases, it’s like the chicken vs the egg. Which came first, the mental health issues or the drug addiction, it’s not so clear some times? In others, it’s a direct connection Childhood Trauma —> Mental Health Issues —> Addiction to cope.

It’s hard to know what’s going to come up, what’s going to have an effect on us and when. I pretty much dismissed all past childhood and young adult trauma for decades. Not that I didn’t know it was there, or that it was obscured from me, but I didn’t acknowledge the weight of it that I carried and still carry. Until it hit me like a ton of bricks. Even though I wish I had more of a support group. I am SO VERY thankful for who I do have to support me through this.

I was thinking the other night that going through depression / anxiety is unseen and really hard for folks to relate to. Even though I have never experienced a dibilitating physical injury (thank god!), I could almost equate it to a spinal injury where one needs to learn to walk again. Each day is a battle, each day is hard, each day is work just to try to get to some sort of baseline. Some days are great wins and those are truly a blessing. Some days are losses. No progress or even going in reverse. What’s helped me is that I just really force myself to appreciate every moment of the good days, and on the bad days, remember that there will be good days again. It’s OK to feel down and important to acknowledge it, but the work comes in forcing myself to focus and think on the good even when I’m in the bad.

I think that we as a society are starting to break through the stigma of mental health issues, but it’s still there and there’s a lot of work to do. Most men that I’ve talked to mid-40s are going through some form of depression / mid-life crisis. It’s extremely common and I think it’s important to talk about it. Stay strong!